Moms who have cesarean birth,
I want you to know that no matter the type of birth you have, there is always support for you here. If you have an elective repeat cesarean, I will support you. If you have a vaginal birth after cesarean, I will support you. If you have a cesarean birth after a trial of labor, I will support you. I will not judge you. No matter the type of birth you have, I will always support you.
You are not a failure if you have a trial of labor that becomes a cesarean. I will never think of you as a failure, if you have a repeat cesarean.
There is never one “right” way to birth. No one decision is right for every birthing woman or birth situation. This is why information is so important. Having all the information to make an informed decision that is right for you and your situation, is what is important. Feeling cared for and supported no matter your decisions is what is important.
As the ICAN of Utah County chapter leader, I feel the need to make my feelings public. Too often I hear women say “I feel like I failed” in reference to having a cesarean. I do not want any of you to feel this way! I want you to feel like you did what you needed to do to have your baby. We do the best we can with the information we have at the time. We do what we need to do to have the outcome we believe to be the most beneficial. Sometimes birth requires us to make difficult decisions. Making those decisions in critical moments makes you a strong woman, not the way you birth.
There is so much I wish I could express to each of you who have had a cesarean birth. I just don’t have the words to express this love and admiration adequately. I want you to know that I have a great love and admiration for women who have cesarean births. Birthing women are amazing, not because a baby comes out of their vagina, but because they grew a human inside of their body and now they must birth the baby in whatever way that baby needs to come. Sometimes that means being cut open for the baby to be born. A cesarean birth is still a birth and not any less difficult (or courageous or amazing….) than a vaginal birth. I believe there is a moment during (almost every birth, it probably doesn’t always happen) birth when the woman has a feeling of helplessness and despair and somehow we come out of that. We gather our strength and move above the helplessness and despair to bring new life. It doesn’t matter how you birth, somewhere you find that strength. Sometimes it doesn’t come when you need it, sometimes the helplessness and despair stays for a long time. If you feel this helplessness and despair, I want you to know I am here for you. Please lean on me. Please come to me. I will support you. I will help you. I will not leave you alone.